Wednesday, 15 August 2012

The serbian mafia

Im sitting having my lunch before i cross into Macedonia, and im tucking into a couple of brown seeded babs, good for all reasons when these two polceia decide to come for a visit.The serb police force do a very good sturn face and they were putting on an excellant display today, they speak in serbian and i catch passport, i hand it over, they study it more than they need to and i break the silence with, lovley warm day again, they ignore me. They look at the bike and point to the bags and i catch mafia in the sentance, sorry i dont understand, he points to the bag and makes a gesture to open them up. As i get up to open my bags, there is a car crash on the street and he points again to the bags as they head off to investigate the accident. Im struggling to work out what they want, why mafia and the pointing to the bags, do they think im a smuggler of drugs or guns, so i start to empty my contents of bags all four onto the picnic table, my front two hold food and cooking gear the second two clothes and bike stuff. As im emptying the food bag one of my half used instant mash has decided to go wandering in my bag, its everywhere. So i have a james moment, their going to think that my instant mash is cocaine so very quickly i start to wipe off the powder onto the floor but then the floor is covered so as im trying not to attract any attention i do a sort of irish feet shuffle they do so well while atempting to keep my top half ridgit. Its all covered up and i see all my bags contents on the table, i get a bit embarrised on the state of my underpants and socks that even tthough they do get washed the salt from my sweat and the sun is amking them fall apart so i hide them under a t shirt which has yogurt stain down it so i cover that with my fleece which also needs a wash. I'm as ready as ill ever be and so I finish my lunch and then wait patiently and then wait impatiently.'soon an hour has gone and i want to get on. on lookers passing my jumble sale are bewilderd by it all.  another 20 min go by and they seem to be wandering off. i wave over shouting hello and they come over to see my lifes wares, they look angry and start saying stuff to me, i cant understan and so i put my hand up in a no understand way, its looking ugly, and then i notice my shorts im wearing has a blob of cream cheese on it from lunch and i want to wipe it off but decide to try and look hard, very soon were not getting anywhere and a youngter is brought in to translate. plonker that i am listens to the translation. they want me to take care of my luggage as their has been atacks on travellers and by the way youve got something on your shorts. They wander off i pack up and head tothe border the Macedonian contol speaks great english and im through in no time. very soon the hills get bigger and much hotter and i can see my imaginary greek sea in the distace some 250 km away with some big mountains in the way.